Have you ever had a conversation with an elderly person and felt like shouting, “Enough with the complaining already!” You’ve probably wanted to step outside and let out a good scream, haven’t you? Likewise, you may have walked away from an encounter with an elderly person that left you feeling both refreshed and inspired.

Over the years, I’ve had plenty of experiences in both those camps and have been inspired to sporadically keep a journal, a “note to self” of my observations and reflections on the topic of growing old gracefully (or not). Since I’m very rapidly approaching “old age” myself, (I’m not there yet, because the definition of old is a lot older than I am, and keeps getting pushed back every year…)

I’ve been revisiting my journal to remind myself of what qualities I admired in certain older persons and what annoyed me about certain “old geezers” and “geezettes” that I encountered in my travels. While re-reading it I realized that it’s taken the form of a sort of “Ten Commandments (O.K., Six) for Aging Gracefully”, which I would humbly like to share with you today.

1. Thou shall keep thy little aches and pains to thyself, lest people stop listening to thee, and thou shall not wear thy illnesses like a badge of honor. Ditto for thy digestive problems.

We all have little malaises, and they aren’t the exclusive domain of the elderly. Chances are if we find some worthwhile distraction or productive occupation, we’ll forget all about the pain! If there is something going on in me that is more than just a little pain, I’ll be sure to share this information with my doctors as soon as possible. It used to worry me that if the elderly in my entourage were constantly complaining, how was I going to know when they were experiencing “THE BIG ONE”?

2. Thou shall dispense wisdom when asked, and not view thyself as the font of all wisdom.

Sometimes people will ask for my opinions, and only then should I give them. Otherwise, I should keep them to myself. The easiest way to create a generation gap between me and my loved ones, especially my grandchildren, is to send the message that the only right way is MY WAY!) ..Which segues into the next commandment…

3. Thou shall accept change and maybe even embrace it.

I must keep reminding myself that since time immemorial things change, society evolves, and things will never be the same. I was part of a social revolution in my youth, as were my parents and their parents before them. I can choose to accept and even embrace these changes, or keep ranting on about how bad things are today and how good they used to be.

4. Thou shall make the most of what life has dealt thee.

I pray that I will not dwell on my trials and misfortunes. If I experience adversity, I hope to find comfort and a new focus in my life. If I am sick, if can no longer walk, please let me have a good wheel chair with which to get around. If I am bedridden, please let me bring the world into my room in as many ways as possible.

5. Thou shall keep smiling and laughing.

It used to strike me how much more I enjoyed the company of elderly people who had a sense of humor, who greeted you with a smile, and who enjoyed a good belly laugh over a joke. They even lived longer lives! “They” say that laughing exercises all your internal organs, and that smiling acts as a sort of facelift. I’m all for that!

6. Thou shall learn something new every day.

Sit home twiddling my thumbs and feeling sorry for myself? Not me! I’ll sign up for a language class, learn to dance the tango, learn to play the piano, do some volunteering, or read a new book. I’ll do my best to keep my brain from rusting. I’ll take charge of my life and won’t make others feel responsible for entertaining me. I’LL FILL MY WORLD WITH PEOPLE. ..And that brings me back to the first commandment …Chances are if we find some worthwhile distraction or productive occupation…