Social pressures are huge for
tweens; puberty happens along with other big changes, like the beginning of
high school. As a parent, you need to be there for your growing children and
help them navigate the changes they are facing. Here are a few tricks to
counteract tween pitfalls and social pressures.
Really listen
It’s important to be an open-minded
parent and really listen to your children. You have to make sure they know that
you are there for them and you won't be judging them if they talk to you about
an issue.
Talking to other parents and
developing relationships with them is another good way to understand what your
child is going through. You can also talk to your children's friends and ask
questions. Not only does caring about their friends make you seem like a good
parent in your child's eyes, it is also an opportunity to be interested in
people that will likely be there for a few years, if not longer.
Be a role model
If you are an active and healthy
parent, your children will want to be too. Doing healthy activities as a
family, whether it is going ice skating or cooking a healthy dinner together
will strengthen your bond and keep your child in a happy place.
Media consumption
Having conversations with your
children about what they like and don't like in the media, particularly the
Internet, and making them think critically about their consumption can have
positive effects. It can make them realize the effects of media and how things
can be misconstrued.
While it is important to let your
child do their own thing, it is also important that you monitor their time
spent on devices so they know that there is a life outside of the screen.
Shutting down the computer at night is also an opportunity to read a book.
Puberty
Puberty can be an awkward time
because the body is changing in ways that tweens don't always understand. Your
tween will probably look at their reflection in the mirror more often. It is
important to be reassuring to your child that the changes their bodies are
going through are normal. Being open about those changes and having
conversations about topics like periods or body hair can ease their anxiety.
Bullying
Bullying is a tough one. While your
tween may be under the impression that the bully is right about hating them,
usually the bully is mean in order to make themselves feel more important. Be
open to your child about the seriousness of bullying and listen to their
concerns. Remind your child that it is important to stick with good friends who
appreciate them for who they are.
Fitting in
Chances are, your tween wants to fit
in, and that is often done by dressing like their peers and doing the same
activities. This can cause your tween to lose part of their personality in the
process. Encouraging your child to do a group activity that is positive and
they enjoy doing is a good way to fit in while developing positive personality
traits.
Going out
Your child will most likely want to
follow his friends in their outings. This is where your parenting is important;
you need to know your children's friends, where he is going and when he is
coming home. Through tween and teenage years, it is important to gradually give
your child more freedom, and not to be too strict or give a lot of freedom all
at once. This will allow your child to gradually gain their independence and
know that you care about them.
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