When
is a child’s procrastination simply a “kid being a kid” or rooted within a
deeper issue? Dr. Mary Tsonis of the Your Psychology Clinic in Laval
explains that 20<>percentage<> of adults are chronic procrastinators. They delay making
payments and many of their responsibilities at work and at home, which often
leads them to huge problems such as not being able to keep a steady job, not
getting that promotion, or ruining their credit score. If this is the case for
20<>percentage<> of today’s adults and some non-chronic procrastinators, then why are we so
hard on our children? When does procrastination become a matter worthy of
professional help?
There
are many reasons why a child might delay tasks such as school work or chores.
“Procrastination is often an avoidance response that provides individuals with
temporary relief. People who frequently procrastinate tend to focus on the
immediate pleasure that the avoidance brings,” says Dr. Tsonis. Some might feel as though they are lacking
the necessary skills to begin or complete tasks perfectly, they might not be
motivated, or they might be putting them off due to a deeper underlying issue
such as a learning disability. “Sometimes a child is confused about what is
being asked and the problem is not that the child is rebelling or not
interested, but that he or she just doesn’t know what is being asked,” Dr.
Tsonis explains.
Parents
do not usually consult with Dr. Tsonis solely for procrastination issues.
“Procrastination is usually part of a bigger problematic picture. However,
there are a lot of kids out there who procrastinate and don’t need to seek
help,” says Dr. Tsonis. Children normally think in the moment and are not
concerned about the long-term consequences of what they are doing or not doing.
She recommends rewarding your child for completing a task. Sometimes giving
children small incentives can provide them the immediate gratification they
require to complete a task.
Just
as we, as adults, work to earn a salary, children also need incentives to do
certain things. No one does something for nothing—not even children! A child is
not thinking about cleaning his room so that tomorrow it will be clean when
Tommy comes over to play, nor is he thinking about starting his science project
on Friday evening so that on Saturday he can go outside to play. Parents must
explain these things to their children so that they learn how to think about
their future, the consequences of their actions, so that they might develop
good habits, not simply “do it because mommy said so”.
Dr.
Tsonis reminds parents that they shouldn’t assume their children are
procrastinating because they simply “don’t feel like it” or “they just don’t
want to listen”. Sometimes, the task at hand, even a simple chore like cleaning
up their bedroom, can be daunting for a child. Does he start by the bed,
closet, desk covered with books and papers, or the clothes all over the floor?
Another
example is a direction such as “go work on your project”, which can also be
overwhelming to a child because there are so many places to begin; research,
pictures, written work, poster, etc. “You
have experience, but don’t assume that your child knows what is involved or
where to begin,” says Dr. Tsonis. She recommends breaking up the task into
multiple, more manageable parts that will be easier for a child to undertake on
his or her own. What can also help the child is setting a timeline for when to
do each of these “parts”. If the project is due in a month’s time, then working
on one or two tasks per weekend can be less intimidating and overwhelming.
Like
adults, children can also have perfectionist traits, what we sometimes refer to
as the “Type A” personality, which can influence a child to procrastinate. On
the other hand, perfectionism can also be modelled in a child’s environment.
“Behind perfectionism is usually anxiety or low self-confidence, but
perfectionism can also be modelled by parents or developed through the
expectations that parents communicate,” explains Dr. Tsonis. Perfectionism,
therefore, is not always positive since the constant need to complete tasks to
perfection can paralyze a child from even starting a project or task.
Studies
have shown that the children of authoritative parents are more likely to be
chronic procrastinators as adults. “I often see parents consulting because of a
power struggle in which the children are trying to get some form of power in
the relationship via rebellion,” says Dr. Tsonis. In these cases, she will
usually examine the parents’ tone, expectations, whether they are leaving
enough room for children to learn self-regulation, and whether they dictate
without supporting the learning of their child.
Dr.
Tsonis says that when parents are concerned that procrastination might be
negatively impacting their child’s life or future, she usually recommends
beginning with some parent coaching. “This allows parents to learn practical
skills that will help them deal with the problem on their own and various steps
they can take with their child,” says Dr. Tsonis.
Remember
that you know your child best and are in the best position to judge whether
your child’s procrastination is just a passing phase or could be the symptom of
something more serious. If your child’s procrastination is permeating into
every aspect of his or her life, such as at school, at home, and with friends,
and you feel that some professional advice would be worthwhile, then you should
consult with a therapist or psychologist.
As
parents, we can sometimes become very worried about small bumps in the road
because we want the best for our children, but we also need to let them learn
to pick themselves up when they fall and how to stand on their own two feet. Perhaps
procrastinating may have gotten Jimmy a C on his last project, but it might
have also taught him a greater lesson that he wouldn’t have otherwise learned.
In The Latest Issue:Latest Issue:
- A Bittersweet Farewell
- The new Laval Aquatic Co...
- The End of an Era:
Articles
Calendar
Virtual- ANNUAL TEACHER APPRECIATION CONTEST
- APPUI LAVAL
- ARTS & CULTURE
- CAMPS
- CAR GUIDE
- CCIL
- CENTENNIAL ACADEMY
- CHARITY FUNDRAISING
- CITYTV
- COSMODÔME
- COMMUNITY CONNECTIONS
- COVER STORY
- DINA DIMITRATOS
- ÉCOLE SUPÉRIEURE DE BALLET DU QUÉBEC
- EDITORIALS
- ÉDUCALOI
- EDUCATION
- EMPLOYMENT & ENTREPRENEURSHIP
- FÊTE DE LA FAMILLE
- FÊTE DU QUARTIER SAINT-BRUNO
- FAMILIES
- FESTIVAL LAVAL LAUGHS
- FÊTE DE QUARTIER VAL-DES-BRISES
- FINANCES
- GLI CUMBARE
- GROUPE RENO-EXPERT
- HEALTH & WELL-BEING
- 30 MINUTE HIT
- ANXIETY
- CHILDREN`S HEALTH & WELLNESS
- CLOSE AID
- DENTAL WELLNESS
- EXTREME EVOLUTION SPORTS CENTRE
- FONDATION CITÉ DE LA SANTÉ
- GENERAL
- HEARING HEALTH
- MESSAGES FROM THE HEALTH AGENCY OF CANADA
- MENTAL HEALTH
- SEXUALITY
- SOCIAL INTEGRATION
- SPECIAL NEEDS
- TEENS
- THE NUTRITION CORNER
- THE NUTRITION CORNER - RECIPES
- VACATION DESTINATION
- WOMEN'S FITNESS
- WOMEN'S HEALTH
- HILTON MONTREAL/LAVAL
- HOME & GARDEN
- INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY
- JAGUAR LAVAL
- LAVAL À VÉLO
- LAVAL FAMILIES TV SHOW
- LAVAL FAMILIES MAGAZINE CARES
- LAVAL URBAN IN NATURE
- LE PARCOURS DES HÉROS
- LES PETITS GOURMETS DANS MA COUR
- LEON'S FURNITURE
- LEONARDO DA VINCI CENTRE
- LFM PREMIERES
- LIFE BALANCE
- M.P. PROFILE
- MISS EDGAR'S AND MISS CRAMP'S SCHOOL
- MISSING CHILDREN'S NETWORK
- NETFOLIE
- NORTH STAR ACADEMY LAVAL
- OUTFRONT MEDIA
- PASSION SOCCER
- PARC DE LA RIVIÈRE-DES-MILLE-ÎLES
- PÂTISSERIE ST-MARTIN
- PIZZERIA LÌOLÀ
- PLACE BELL
- PORTRAITS OF YOUR MNA'S
- ROCKET DE LAVAL
- SACRED HEART SCHOOL
- SCOTIA BANK
- SHERATON LAVAL HOTEL
- SOCIÉTÉ ALZHEIMER LAVAL
- STATION 55
- STL
- SUBARU DE LAVAL
- TECHNOLOGY
- TEDXLAVAL
- TODAY`S LAURENTIANS AND LANAUDIÈRE
- TODAY`S LAVAL
- WARNER MUSIC
- THIS ISSUE
- MOST RECENT
Magazine
Is Your Child’s Procrastination a Matter of Concern?
Articles ~e 105,7 Rythme FM 4 chemins Annual Teacher Appreciation Contest Appui Laval Arts & Culture Ballet Eddy Toussaint Camps THIS ISSUE MORE...
CONTESTS Enter our contests
CONTESTS Enter our contests
CALENDAR
Events & Activities
COMMUNITY Posts Events
PUBLICATIONS Our Magazine Family Resource Directory
LFM BUSINESS NETWORK Learn more
COUPONS Click to save!
COMMUNITY Posts Events
PUBLICATIONS Our Magazine Family Resource Directory
LFM BUSINESS NETWORK Learn more
COUPONS Click to save!
SUBSCRIPTIONS
Subscribe to the magazine
Un-Subscribe
E-NEWSLETTER Subscribe to our E-newsletter Un-Subscribe
WRITE FOR US Guidelines & Submissions
POLLS Vote today!
E-NEWSLETTER Subscribe to our E-newsletter Un-Subscribe
WRITE FOR US Guidelines & Submissions
POLLS Vote today!
ADVERTISERS
How to & Media guide
Pay your LFM invoice
SUGGESTIONS Reader's Survey Suggest a Listing
LFM About Us Our Mission Giving Back Contact Us
SUGGESTIONS Reader's Survey Suggest a Listing
LFM About Us Our Mission Giving Back Contact Us
PICK-UP LOCATIONS
Get a copy of LFM!
TERMS & CONDITIONS Privacy | Terms
ISSN (ONLINE) 2291-1677
ISSN (PRINT) 2291-1677
Website by ZENxDESIGN
TERMS & CONDITIONS Privacy | Terms
ISSN (ONLINE) 2291-1677
ISSN (PRINT) 2291-1677
Website by ZENxDESIGN